Late bloomer… but will surely shine when the time is already right

“Teach! Pursue teaching if you really want to. You have a good rapport with the kids,” says teacher Zandy, non-verbatimly.

I was already in my second year college back in 2011 yet was still spending off-school days running around and playing with the kids at home, mostly of age as my younger brother’s born in 2002. I love kids. I just so love them too much. They never fail to brighten my day and to set my mood positively.

I’ve been known in my workplace as someone very childlike and immature who delights in my colleagues’ babies and toddlers and children no matter how annoying they can become. Yet, I am also that someone considered, at times, inconsiderate and impatient and strict towards my adult officemates. I even remember my manager making fun of me by posting in our Team’s page a video collection of how Gordon Ramsay alters his personality in dealing with children and adults. Funny.

Vocal as I am, and still then deeply absorbed in my delusions of love, I will tell my friends at work how desperately I already wanted to have a baby of my own by the age of 24 (and I am now 24). Most will just laugh at me telling me how young and childish I still am; and only a few will encourage me knowing I have always dreamt of settling at a very young age (so to minimize age gap between my future offspring and maximize time together with my future husband).

As I was having my devotions one morning, God led me to 1 Timothy 3:11, “In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.” Amazed that I was, I thanked God for making me realize that the very reason He did not allow my delusions to become reality was simply because I was not, never in any way, ready yet to handle such big responsibility. Truly, nothing can beat God’s greater plans for me!

Reminding me of Isaiah 55:8-9, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts,” I clearly see that there is no way I can ever fathom God.

I have started reading the book of Timothy with one chapter daily. Past 4 chapters, the Lord has already taught me a lot with respect to becoming a Godly woman:

  1. To learn in quietness and full submission
  2. To not teach or assume authority over a man
  3. To be quiet
  4. To continue in faith, love, and holiness with propriety
  5. To be worthy of respect, and not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.

These are only a few of the many qualities of a woman who is pleasing in the eyes of the Lord and I am still so far from becoming one. But with God’s grace and guidance, I fully surrender myself to be transformed in accordance to His will.

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